brain drain

my BRAIN is tired.

i studied this morning and then went to "counseling". i haven't mentioned it much because i don't know what to call it or how to explain it. it's not counseling. but it's not NOT counseling. it's like career counseling and communication skill training with doses of goal making, etiquette, language, knowledge and all those other things you never learned in college, but should have...i guess? anyway, it's a series of lectures and other programs spread over the course of a year. may is month 4 for me. more than anything, it 1. is helping my japanese. and 2. challenges every wall i've built and the way i think about my life and where i want to be and where i want to be going. in mostly a good way.

today's lecture was heavy on words i didn't know and i took 5 pages of notes despite that. my dictionary is loving all the attention, i'm sure. but, it's mentally exhausting. 2 solid hours of concentration, taking notes (scribbling a mixture of english, kanji and hiragana), looking up new/key words, and trying to keep up with what the guy is saying, since that IS sort of the point. phew.

but anyway, studying. i already want to take a day off, but i can't afford to yet. kanji are kicking my butt. and this is supposed to be REVIEW! i don't even want to think about getting into 1kyu kanji. yikes.

though, on a positive note:

i saw a word in an advertisement on the train today with a kanji i just recently memorized. i thought for a minute and while i didn't know the exact meaning of the word, i was able to look it up in my dictionary without having to count strokes or determine radicals to look up the kanji first. i just typed what i thought the pronunciation was right into my japanese-english dictionary. and there it was:

混合 - mix, combination

as in, combination skin.

hey, it's all in the small victories, right?