classifieds

a few treasures from the classifieds of the august 24th issue of metropolis magazine.


Being honest with you. At-
tractive, fun, clean, SBM mid 30s
in Yokohama looking for sex
friend/casual relationship. Must
be attractive and clean. Email
w/photo. Serious only. Married
ok. (nihongoOKdesu. ohenjiwo!)

married ok?! ...and his email translates to "hot black man."


Married American man, early
40s, looking for a discreet com-
panionship with a sensual, edu-
cated and well-built girl/woman
for occasional romantic encoun-
ters.

sir, you are MARRIED! shame on you. and anyone who replies!


Beauty is outside. I know it sounds
silly, but I look first, then talk. If you
are really beautiful and very smart, I
want to know you. Meet for coffee?

at least you know from the start that he's only judging you on looks...


Cool and handsome SWM seeks
cute, sexy JF, in Tokyo or Chiba. I
have nice blue eyes and speak some
nihongo, so let's enjoy exciting
times in bed. Email w/photo.

because nice blue eyes and some japanese = exciting times in bed


Foreign beauty sought by Italian
man, in Tokyo, who's tired of silly
Japanese women. Nice, good-
looking gaijin woman sought to
spend good times with, for long-
lasting relationship. Any nationality
ok.

while not any less biased than people wanting japanese girlfriends, it WAS a nice surprise.


Hot and passionate American,
honest, healthy and open-minded,
older, seeks a passionate lady friend
for the beach, izakaya, talking,
sushi and sochu. Not typical.

nope, not like ANY of the other "hot and passionate" guys in the classifieds...



Nice Canadian businessman, 30,
tall, green eyes, sweet, athletic,
funny and understanding, seeks
Japanese girlfriend, 20-40. She must
be nice and honest. Busty prefered.

busty japanese? you know it's not really in their genes...



Waiting for you. American
professional, mid-30s, seeks
intelligent and fun single female for
ongoing casual relationship. Friends
first, no pressure. Good kissers
preferred. Located in central Tokyo.
nihongodemo ok.

does anyone read that and think, "oh, i'm a good kisser, i'll reply"...?



American? Cute, adorable
and sophisticated SJF, 33, with
proportioned body and a baby
face, seeks conventional but bright
and humorous since American,
30s, living in Tokyo, for long-term
relationship.

some are better proportioned than others, but aren't we all "proportioned"?



Sincere and healthy SJF seeks
sincere and healthy SWM. If you like
movies and sports, we have good
talks together. Besides, if you are
intelligent with short hair, I must like
you.

might want to double check the usage of "must" in your middle school english textbook.

happy one year

today is my one year "anniversary" of coming to japan to work.

i feel like i should have some deep, or at least well thought out, post to commemorate this momentous occasion, but alas, i do not.

i just thought it should be written down somewhere.

i'll make sure to inform my date tonight. ;)

ABC jetlag fun

i'm up with jetlag. i heard once that it's a day for every hour. that's almost two weeks (13 days) that i just don't have before starting work september 1st. (yes, that's a saturday, welcome back to japan)

so, i entertain myself (and maybe you):


A - Available or Single? umm, yeah...both.

B - Best Friend? i'll call her r, she lives half way across the world.

C - Cake or Pie? as much as i like cake, i can't handle the frosting.

D - Drink of Choice? water.

E - Essential Item(s)? cell phone, cash, camera.

F - Favorite Color? blue.

G - Gummi Bears or worms? gummi bears OR *sour* gummi worms.

H - Hometown? originally? rural ohio. currently? tokyo.

I - Indulgence? spending money, sleeping in, english (ha).

J - January or February? february, by elimination of january.

K - Kids? maybe someday.

L - Life is incomplete without… still trying to figure this one out.

M - Marriage Date: maybe someday.

N - Number of Siblings: two brothers.

O - Apples or oranges? crunchy apples.

P - Phobias/Fears: bugs inside and abandonment.

Q - Favorite Quote: the most wasted of days is one without laughter.

R - Reasons to Smile? i'm hanging out with Chelsea today.

S - Season? spring

T - Tag Three: no thanks.

U - Unknown Fact About Me: i was born in alaska.

V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals? oppressor.

W - Worst habits? not paying my bills on time, biting my fingernails.

X - X-rays or Ultrasounds? never had one, but i'll pass on radiation.

Y - Your Favorite Foods: coco-wheats.

Z - Zodiac: pisces.

hair drama

i just got my hair cut. and i might be regretting it. i can't decide. see, i have a love-hate relationship with my hair.

growing up, when i wasn't old enough to actually take care of my own hair, my mom cut it super short. she told me when i could take care of it, then i could grow it out. as if the end of elementary school and middle school weren't awkward enough, i went from short to permed to scraggly long to cute bob to short in a matter of 4 years. i vowed i'd never cut it that short again. (i should've learned from the years of being mistaken as a boy growing up).

living in japan, i avoid the hair salons because i've had too many cuts that just weren't worth it. until coming home last month, i hadn't had my hair cut since march. i got it trimmed and made another appointment, albeit not even 4 weeks later, to get it cut again before leaving for japan (which i will be doing tomorrow!)

my hair has a natural wave, which, one good days, borders on being "curly" and on bad days, just looks blah. i went in today completely undecided about what to do. on top of that, i was having a new person cut my hair. i like it long, and in fact loved the way it looks in last week's "family photo shoot" to get that ever-coveted perfect family christmas card photo. i cropped one of the photos and put it up as my new facebook profile photo (which hadn't been changed in over a year...) and got tons of compliments. talk about flattered. wow.

one of the girls said my hair looked great and i shouldn't go changing a thing. i got that message a few minutes ago, back from the hair dressers. sigh.

okay, reality check: my new haircut is cute. it is. and it's fun. it's a little short (just past my chin-ish?), but japan is hot, so long hair will just get pulled back everyday anyway, right? and it's been straightened, so a wash and some product could make it curly and even more fun.

but i still look at the photo on facebook and the response and wonder if maybe i shouldn't have changed a thing...

friend drama

last fall, i met a girl who was student teaching at the school. after i finally approached her and said hi, we seemed to be quick friends and i wanted to be part of her friends-circle. we both frequently write journal entries on mixi (japanese social networking site, like myspace or facebook might be) and i left a comment on one of her entries the other day and she responded to my comment. this was my emotional response (kept to myself, and now you):

"you don't know i'm in ohio. you don't leave comments or even stop by for that matter. you've got more friends than you can keep track of surely. so i regret being so nice. i regret falling hook line and sinker when you fished for someone to say they liked you. i tried to make a joke, which i actually think was half funny, and you just shrugged it off after saying, "oh, you're not in japan?" and i wonder why i try. i shouldn't waste my time on people who don't care enough to reciprocate, but i only have so many friends; i can't afford not to make some kind of effort on the ones i actually have. if you only knew what a luxury it was to have too many blogs to read and not being able to comment on all of them. sadly, mine is never one you read or even seem to acknowledge. i know my japanese isn't great, and maybe i don't write like everyone else, but i'm trying. so, i don't know whether to just give up, or to comment twice as much until you give me the time of day."

and then today, i found myself on the other end. i get the sense the other party wants to hang out so much and i just can't be bothered. we were friends in high school. sort of. i mean, as much weight as the word "friend" had for me in high school. i was never part of the "in crowd" or the "cool kids" or the "pretty girls" (and in hindsight, i ended all the much better for it) but now i've got this old friend sending me messages that come across as blunt, cold and a tad too unfriendly to warrant a quick response. earlier this week, i responded and asked what her plans were for next week and she promptly responded with her schedule, which is fairly open and flexible. i hadn't responded yet (i think that was 2 days ago?) and she has now sent me another message that seems to insinuate that i haven't done my friend duty by responding right away and picking a day time and place to get together. it's tough. i feel like i am trapped in high school again. the "who invited who but not who to what party or what event, who went with who, and how come you didn't call last night or say hi to me in the hallway when you walked by this morning, are you ignoring me?" drama.

i hate drama. i carry enough drama around for one thanks. i try not to, but i tend to be emotional, which maybe is mistaken for drama...or at least i mistake it for my own drama.

anyway, i grew up in rural ohio. i went to the only middle school and the only high school in the town. everyone knew everyone and everyone else's business too. people i had never heard of before knew who i was and my parents always threatened that the city had eyes; if we ever did anything bad, they'd find out from a little bird eventually. as a kid, i hated it. looking back on it now, it was a great place to grow up.

it's also a great place to leave. rural ohio has limitations. granted this comes from someone who doesn't consider herself a homebody, and maybe for those that do, it's a great place to stay. but having had the opportunities to go places and see things and learn so much and see so much of the world, i don't know how to see it from the other angle. i see compromise and settling. settling for whatever comes along instead of going out and trying to get what might end up being unattainable. but how can you not try? how can you not wonder what could be if you left home and had some adventure?

facebook has privied me to some mere glimpses of people who never left. one's married with kids. yes, that's plural. i can easily list another half dozen that are married and still in the area. one of them is trying to hang out with me this week. this may seem like i am anti my hometown, or anti marriage, or anti being happy where you are, and maybe there's a bit of marriage cynicism coming out, but part of me does wonder if maybe i'm missing some part of the simple notion of finding someone you love and deciding it doesn't matter where you are, as long as you're together. maybe rural ohio is just right for some people. maybe i should be giving them kudos for doing as well as they have with what they had (rural ohio does have its limitations afterall).

but my bigger fear is that i believe i'm somehow better than them for leaving. and how do i let go of my ego long enough hang out for, and enjoy, an evening with a girl i once thought i was friends with.