things i love thursday

.strawberry sparkling wine.
.new girl friends.
.falling over laughing.
.taylor swift.
.facetiming my family (tear).
.angela aki.
.pineapple anything.
.good hand lotion.
.tights with stars.

stuck

well, i WAS doing well
(blogging close to everyday too)
until my whole life blew up in my face.

things are stressful
my stomach is constantly in knots
i have close to zero appetite
i miss my family and am still in shock,
how did i get here?
where do i go from here?
and HOW do i go anywhere?

funny how the fear of being left
turns boys simultaneously into
sweethearts and jerks and how
true girl friends will tell you
what you already know is true
you just don't want to believe
because it's easier not to.

the only things that saved christmas
was coming home tispy on the 25th
and facetiming with my family
while they finished christmas morning
brunch and then opened presents.

i sat on the side table
or where ever they put the ipad
and i felt, for a few moments,
like i was almost even there.

otherwise, i didn't "do" christmas this year
which leaves next year in prime
"better than last year" position.

a girl's gotta try to be optimistic, right?

things i love thursday

.cabbage with sesame oil and salt.
.hot lemonade.
.drinks with good friends.
.meeting nice people.
.my coworkers.
.being recklessly spontaneous.
.raspberries for lunch.
.only four more days of work til vacation.
.looking at houses/apartments and dreaming.

a farewell weekend

here's a list of the things that were keeping me from posting:

1 liter of tanrei
4 (or 5, or 6?) white peach sours
3 bottles of smiroff ice (the red one)
2 (or 3?) shots of jager
a glass or two of moet champagne
and a gaggle of gay boys in ni-chome.

also noteworthy:
some unbloggable moments (yikes)
a very fuzzy memory
a threesomething AM cab ride
puking in front of a fancy hotel
sleeping (er, passing out?) for 3 hours
a seriously debilitating hangover (makes top 3, easily.)
on a regular day of work
plus a kids' christmas party (had to be santa, too)
then round two of drinking
visiting old haunts
and seeing old friends
saying goodbye to a dear friend
and crying more than was probably necessary

all in all, quite the weekend.

i hadn't been out clubbing in over 2 and a half years
(no need to double check your math, it's no accident...)
and i'm proud (or embarrassed) to report i haven't lost my touch.
i fell all over the dance floor while laughing and apologizing
but lucky for me someone seemed interested enough to catch me!


and, more importantly, in those few hours, i had not a care in the world.


yeah, reality's a bitch, ain't it?

monetary validation

my day started with breakfast at noon because that's when i was finally able to pull myself out of bed and to the table. then i suddenly remembered my bonus furikomi so i checked my bank account online, and i was all at once very happy and also suspicious/shocked. was i doing the math right?

my november paycheck and my bonus were furikomi-ed in one lump sum and since i get paid hourly (and haven't gotten my paper pay stub yet) i'm not exactly sure what my november pay total is. but i know it can't be much different than october. definitely not more than october because i worked 4 halloween parties on top of my regular load. so, i subtracted my october pay total from the amount and...wha?! really?!!

we'd been told, "while things have been really good for the last couple months, bonuses will be based on the whole year of 2011." with the earthquake and everything (we were hit really hard when people left japan and/or tokyo and withdrew from their classes) and so i wasn't getting my hopes up because i saw the graph. i knew how much and for how long we were in the red, but...wow, what a pleasant surprise.

granted i worked my ass off this year. it was definitely not an easy year. lots of tears, sweat and frustration. it's the most rewarding job i've ever had, and loving my job as much as i do alone is enough to continue, but validation in the form of cold hard cash helps too! haha. yes, merry christmas to ME!!!

things i love thursday

.(japanese) high school friends' beautiful weddings.
.good lighting for photos.
.cleaning out the mountain of clothes in my closet.
.new arm warmers and a big warm scarf.
.getting facetime-d by my parents.
.yakitori.
.anzushu.
.encouraging blog comments (thank you!).
.bonus comes tomorrow.

a year

(please excuse any foul language in this post...advanced apologies)


looks like things are gonna get a lot worse before they get better.
i always thought you could do anything for a year...

you know, even if whatever it was sucked,
you could always last a year?

apparently i was wrong.
fucking a.


anyone looking to rent a room in yokohama starting in january or february?

oh, that's rhetorical, btw.  i'll either enjoy the extra space or find a friend.
though i'm pretty sure it'll be enjoy the extra [literal and figurative] space.

well, probably only a very small part of my heartbroken self will...

*sigh*

tangerine tango

while shopping at the mall the other day, i offhandedly picked up a big chunky knit scarf in a unusual-for-me-color at forever 21 that seemed like a good alternate to the i-wear-you-every-single-day fine knit grey scarf that i, well, wear every day.

then yesterday, in my daily eye-candy-interior-design-diy-blog-reading, i found out that pantone announced the color of the year for 2012. yep, me and my trendy scarf, ahead of the curve! ;)

japanese wedding = lots of yennies

i went a friend's wedding on saturday.

it was *absolutely* beautiful.

the weather was sunny with perfect blue skies,
the chapel/reception location was a castle,
(not really but might as well have been!)
the bride was stunning, the groom was smitten,
it even made me wedding daydream a bit until i heard
from another, recently married, friend of the bride
the price tag on a wedding like my friend's...

￥4,000,000 (!!!!)





(i'll give you a few moments to pick your jaw up off the table)





sadly, your eyes are indeed seeing 6 zeros.
with a little current-exchange-rate math,
that turns into over $51,000. yikes!

so yeah, the bbq in the backyard of my parents' house? eloping?
sounding better and better every minute.

oops.

falling behind already - didn't even make it half way through december...

may have to find some interesting somethings to post about and double post.

but since it's 2:30am, i don't imagine anything interesting will come out now

except that facebook tetris is *horribly* addicting. theendgoodnight.

a little christmas shopping

i bought Ro's christmas presents today. (i would say what, but i have this paranoid suspicion that he has found my blog and don't want to ruin the surprise!)

anyway, they are very much of the practical type, and it seems like a waste to wait until christmas to actually give them to him. but, since christmas IS only two weeks away, i guess it's not too much to wait.

my goal of going to the mall was to get one of those shoulder shrug/mini jacket things for the weddings i'm going to tomorrow and this is how it went: i went in for A and came out with the whole alphabet! :P

things i love thursday

.getting a head start on end-of-the-year (work) cleaning.
.gummy bears.
.mornings or evenings at home to myself.
.tetris on facebook (so addicting!).
.okonomiyaki.
.riding bikes through yokohama, at night, laughing.
.kid hugs.
.salad with avocado, tofu, chicken and veggie vinegar dressing.
.vaseline (it's dry out there!!).
.my students on their good days.

hump day

so i'm 9 minutes late (shoot me)
and should have been in bed
about an hour and 9 minutes ago.
the sleep deprivation continues...

today was a long day.
and tomorrow is another long day.
i finish one thing but there's always
another one just waiting for me,
but it'll be friday (my day off!) soon,
followed by two weddings on saturday.

speaking of weddings, the dress i ordered
for my brother's wedding?  wrong color!
the bride told us all one color
but the color she was looking at
was actually a different color name.

living in japan, i don't think i feel
the full extent of the "drama"
(because i'm sure there is some happening!)

but i think it'll all work out in the end.
(buy second dress, wait for first dress to arrive,
send first dress back, get reimbursed, etc etc.)
geez, weddings are stressful and i'm not even the bride!


makes you reconsider the whole wedding thing...hmmm

lunch break curiousities

where exactly are full time fashion bloggers going in their fancy outfits?

why are heels so uncomfortable and uggs so warm and comfortable?

is there a recipe for a yummy umeboshi and pork dish out there?





*yes, my mind really is filled with these ridiculous things
and i actually wrote them in an email and sent it to myself.
i forsee this becoming a very (or not very) funny series of posts.

quote of the day

"While it's often fashionable to dwell upon what might have been, what's usually overlooked is that really and truly, it couldn't have.

Because, invariably, any romanticized versions of how things "might have been," are based upon fictionalized versions of the past.

You see, most of the time when people think the present could have been different than it is, it's because they think the past was different than it was."

-the Universe



deep.

the 2011 list: october & november

2. create an actual inspiration board
does my pinterest addiction count?

9. continue ds budget book
i was really really slack about this for the last two months.  i put in the bare minimum of my receipts, and updated it to match the amount of money i actually have right now, so the "spent in october" and "spent in november" numbers are a bit off, but at least it's not a total flop.

13. get rid of clothes/shoes i don't wear (once in spring, once in fall/early winter)
yeah, i would say it's about time this happens.  if i still have a box of clothes to be "donated" at the end of december, i'm putting it in writing: i will throw the whole box away.  i am such a horrible "saver" but it's gotta stop!

22. try a new recipe at least once a month
i'm pretty sure i did this.  at the very least i made pretzel crusted chicken and pumpkin pie crust, which was a first.

26. go to a concert/performance/show
i saw a poster for the nutcracker ballet in town.  must look closer at where and when and buy self ticket.  may just go alone!!  

30. save money (starting goal of 60,000yen per month, average)
i didn't think i did it, according the my DS budget book numbers, but we just balanced our "accounts" and Ro is going to transfer some money to my account, which will mean i saved over 60,000yen times 2! (each month i pay rent and utilities, he pays internet, phones and most of the grocery shopping and then we calculate the difference and the person who owes pays the other person.)

35. have a pumpkin carving party
did this and it was great!!  we had about 10 pumpkins and at least that many people come by over the course of the afternoon/evening. i need to do more planning in the way of food/a meal and drink next time, but definitely want to do it again next year!

36. host thanksgiving
Style and his girlfriend hosted this year.  i really wanted to have it at our place, but i took lots of [my favorite thanksgiving] food and it was a success (despite serious doubts on my part). plus, not having to put my hand inside a raw turkey kind of makes the not hosting thing alright in the end. we'll see what happens next year.

37. send new year's cards in december to arrive on time
probably need to be on top of this, since it's december already and i haven't even THOUGHT the word "nengajo" yet.  

may bridesmaid

my older brother is getting married in may.
it breaks down kinda like this:

older brother                                 fiancé
younger sister (me)           younger sister
younger brother             younger brother

plus three friends on either side and suddenly
you've got yourself a 10 person wedding party.

i've never been *in* a wedding before,
(though i have been to a handful of japanese weddings,
er...ceremony/receptions/2nd party/some combination)

and since i've missed all my american friends' weddings,
(living japan, you are a such a pain sometimes)
i'm looking forward to a good ol' american wedding.

plus, i think my brother's fiancé is great. (always helps!)

so, the fiancé chose pretty gray silk chiffon dresses from jcrew.
there are four different styles; we can each pick the one we like.

and yet again japan, you are such a pain: i hate online shopping.
i so badly want to actually TRY THE DRESS ON.

i picked the size that "accomodates" the biggest measurement
(which is not the bust, and in hindsight, maybe i should have worried
about the bust and waist more, considering the style? and does anyone
even match ALL three of the bust:waist:hip measurements exactly?!)
according to their size chart, but i'm still nervous it won't fit.

i double checked their return policy, so worst case scenario,
i have to ship it back for an exchange, but i just ordered this:

hopefully it fits well enough (or perfectly!?) or can at least be tailored...

and now, shoe ideas?

december

i decided yesterday that my blog was such a debbie downer.
sure there are things i love thursday posts, but everything else
that has come out recently, is a rant or a frustration or a "blah."

i'm attempting to fix this (not because i think i have to apologize
for being on the blue side lately, but because it even makes *me*
cringe when i pretend to be reading my own blog for the first time.)
and am going to try to blog once a day for the month of december.
not only is december a crazy crazy month anyway, i'm throwing
this one top!  yep, serial overscheduler with achievement issues. ha!

anyway, maybe it'll get me out of my nobloggingmojowhatsoever funk.

i think maybe i should start drinking wine or umeshu when i blog, too. 
that might make things a little more fun and festive and...gasp...happy? ;)

the tree

here she is!

i still have lofty goals of making a tree skirt and finding/making some kind of star topper.  i imagine it'll just end up being exactly like this until january 4th* though!  but you know, for a "first tree," i'll still be quite happy if it only ever looks like this.  :)


*Ro made me promise that i would actually take it down at some point and so it can only stay up until i go back to work after the new years holiday.

things i love thursday

.amy grant christmas album.
.making origami cranes.
.root beer.
.lululemon arm warmers.
.my christmas tree(!!!!).
.going to bed early.
."free" dinners (congratulatory work party).
.pretzels and chocolate.
.heater at work = i don't freeze on my lunch break.