a lot on my plate

i have started this post four times and deleted it each time so this is how it's going to be:

・this week has been stressful (in an emotional/mental way) and my smile is fading. the weather isn't helping either. this nonstop rain is really dampening my spirits. i need the weekend and the sun.

・i got an unexpected package from my mom and dad. it made my day yesterday. they sent me some cute LeSportsac bags "Just to say Happy Spring and We love you!!" a girl can never have too many bags or purses or little pouches.

・today i introduced myself in front of all the new 7th graders. my heart was pounding so hard, almost in my throat. how did i ever become a teacher?

・i had a chat with the snack shop ladies after not having seen them for two months. they always tell it like it is:
--
ssl: "Carr couldn't be with you because he couldn't keep up. he tried, and he liked you, but he couldn't do it. you are always out and about, seeing people, doing things, and to keep up with you, see you as much as you want to see him, it was all just too much for him. he got sick because he was stressed and tired (a huge factor in getting shingles apparently) and just couldn't do it anymore."

me: so it's my fault he got sick?

ssl: "well...you're definitely a tough one to keep up with. just listening to all your stories and adventures is tiring! we love it, but can't imagine what it'd be like to try and date you."

me: i just wish he could have said something in the end. he probably didn't want to hurt me, but saying it will hurt less than not saying anything at all.

ssl: "but saying it will hurt him too and he probably can't bring himself to say anything. that's just the way it goes. there are some people who just aren't compatible. your body has limits and yours just didn't match."
--
much to think about.

・i taught my first two classes of the new year today. they went okay. the kids are just so reluctant to TALK, which makes it tough seeing as it's english CONVERSATION. middle schoolers are middle schoolers anywhere, don't let anyone fool you.

・my apartment has been a mess for weeks, which is about the amount of time i can stand it. but somehow i just can't make myself buckle down and clean it.

・i want to buy a double bed. but i am too much in love with my twin-sized comforter that it might keep me from splurging on a new mattress.

・i may have a new crush.

(p.s. i'm trying to keep this format: anything in italics within a conversation actually occurred in japanese.)