dear #5

dear #5,

i just finished weeping like a baby to "Seven Videos of Old Couples That Will Make You Want To Fall in Love." each one left me thinking, i want to be that in love with you when i'm that old. i hope we still dance in the living room to christmas music (i also just re-read some old posts from elsewhere that reminded me of our first months together) and i can still call you "farty marty" and we'll laugh til we cry. the men who lost their wives were so heartbroken and it made my heart ache for them and for that day that will one day come.

i said goodbye to you on the station platform on sunday morning and was still excited to see you on your lunch break on monday. you were so sad sunday night on the phone and it made me so worried. i rearranged my schedule so we could get a big errand done (one step closer!) together, instead of putting it off for another week, or longer. after that, i sat in the waiting room of the clinic you work in and i watched you work. i fell in love with you all over again. you will be such a great dad.

i had to leave at the end of the night, like always. i'm getting so tired of leaving. i can't wait to be able to come home to you each night. just to start "us"...

love,
your girl.