allergies and dreams

i was re-reading blog entries from a year ago
(damn i was a mess! haha) because i vaguely
remember posting something about being sick
around the time last year. sure enough, i did.
that was a week later, but i'm guessing i was
suffering the same crap i've been feeling the
last 2 weeks. i convinced myself it wasn't a
cold, just allergies. but now, seeing that i
was feeling the exact same way last year, i'm
fairly confident i have early spring allergies.
not sure what that actually means, except that
i use a LOT of tissues in a day. pretty much.

and i haven't been sleeping restfully lately.
not that those are related, but so next year,
when i come looking for how i was feeling at
the end of january, it's here.

i've been having insanely vivid (and disturbing)
dreams too. the other day it was a guy attacking
me and trying to rape me, getting more turned on
the more i fought back. i woke up in a panic and
couldn't even tell #5 what it was, but he could
tell it was bad and just held me super close
telling me it was gonna be okay. last night it
was being held at gunpoint, then knocking the
gun out of the man's hand and shooting him over
and over. the me in my dream worried that i was
going to get in trouble for shooting him an
"unnecessary number" of times but then he turned
into a skeleton and kept me hostage in a dark room
with a low ceiling.

so yeah, probably goes without saying that there's
some crazy shit going on in my subconscious right now.