every morning it's the same. i shuffle into the kitchen, put the hot water kettle back on it's base (can't seem to put it back, eh R?) and turn it on, put bread in the toaster, and sit down at the counter. R goes into the bathroom, shaves and puts his contacts in. as i'm enjoying my solitary (read: QUIET and PEACEFUL) breakfast, he comes in, helps himself to hot water and sits down next to me. there are usually a few minutes of silence before he can't help it. he makes some snide remark or asks some snarky question that rehashes the fight from the night or day or week before.
this morning, i tried my best not to react. told him we talked about it yesterday and that it's obvious that i'm planning to do things when they fit in HIS schedule regardless of what works in mine. he got even more snappy (what more do you fucking want from me?!) and i got annoyed and absolutely appalled at his "*i* haven't done anything wrong" comment and i bit his bait. i got flustered said it was pretty incredible that he could say he hasn't done ANY wrong in this whole thing. he blamed moving in together on me (again), claimed he was just not doing things now because i used to not do them, so it's just a taste of my own medicine (okay fine, but he hasn't washed a dish, the shower or taken out the trash since i came back 2 weeks ago. or for the month before that, judging on the amount of trash and grime, so it's not like i haven't tried to make ammends) i grabbed all five bags of trash (since he just lets it sit on the balcony and the crows have gotten into it at least twice now) and walked out. i can't take it.
these mornings have to stop. i don't need or deserve fights and guilt trips every single morning. no matter how shitty what i did was, he's being a complete manipulating asshole. i jokingly say to my coworkers that it's like prison, but my guess is at least prison guards don't guilt trip even murders every day over breakfast. maybe they do, but i can't take it anymore. i'm getting up and leaving an hour earlier from now on.
Friday, February 3, 2012
every morning
posted by j. at 8:49 AM
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4 comments:
breakups are hard enough without watching out for ww3 to break out, Hope things get better soon
Leaving early to get your peace and avoid his childish 'its not my fault' behavior sounds like a good idea. How can he blame you for the two of you moving in together? This is like hub blaming for me for getting pregnant with Ryu? Ridiculous and fruitless. It takes two. Breaking up is indeed a shit sandwich. Hope the rest of your mornings together aren't like this.
xxx
Two wrongs don't make a right. Even if what you did was wrong him doing it back at you to spite you does not justify it. If it upset him then he knows he is being an ass by turning it on you. You are right you don't deserve that kind of behaviour, nobody does. I'd say you need to leave earlier in the morning and have a coffee at a shop en route to work or something. And just remember only 10 days left tiloving day, right?
Good luck.
Can't wait for you to get out of there.
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