hello december first.

i just realized that yesterday's photo
was already in last last wednesday's post.
my brain is all over the place lately.
i've started a handful of posts in my head,
but none ever make it, even into a draft.

i woke to a phone call from Ro.
at 10:56am. 4 minutes before my alarm.
he waited until after 10:30. good boy.
we had a conversation last night
that left me in tears and unable to sleep.
but finally managed to at 4.

so he apologized and clarified
what he so inaccurately was trying to say the night before.
it made me feel a little better.
fractionally.

then i went to japanese class.
and for the first time,
passed the in class practice test.
everyone else thought the questions were easier
than other practice tests we've taken, too.
so, i'm not convinced that it means anything.
unfortunately.

i stopped at mcdonald's on my way home.
and the guy at the table next to me
actually struck up a conversation with me.
at first i was obligingly polite,
but his english was quite good.

he just returned last month
from three years in belgium.
he admitted it was hard re-adjusting.
then as i was packing up my things,
he gave me his card.

the whole exchange was awkward.
it's moments like that i really feel
the fact i've been in japan so long.
in shouldn't be awkward.
i don't know how to strike up conversations
with people i don't know anymore.

i left mcdonald's, with the intent of heading home.
but i turned the wrong way
at the bottom of the stairs.
and, feeling silly doing a one-eighty
in the middle of a shibuya sidewalk,
i went into the bookstore a few doors down.
and i browsed the magazines.
and wandered the aisles aimlessly.

then i came across something
that grabbed my attention.
i bought two.
one for me and one for Ro.
i'm going to make book covers.
it's part of his christmas present.
(will show you when it's done...)

i asked him the other day
what he wanted for christmas.
he's still bitter
that i nonchalantly said,
oh, i'm going home the 17th.

apparently i was supposed to be
more solemn and/or dramatic about it,
or consult with him before making my plans.
(eye roll please?)
so he seemed surprised that i was even
planning on getting him something.
he's still thinking.

i told him i won't get him
only and exactly what he asks for anyway.
he said then what's the point?
he's apparently missing the point of christmas.
having a wish list and not knowing
which (if any) of those things
will be under the tree in the morning.

i'm working on my wish list.
there are some doozies on it though,
so i'm not really expecting anything.
it all becomes another something
i have to fit into a suitcase or a carry on.
Ro can't believe that i even get presents from "santa" still.
oh he's got so much learning to do.

and i must admit that my local library's
ironic sense of humor is lost on me.
i've read 460 pages in the last two days.
the jlpt is on sunday?
nope, don't know what you're talking about.
i'm not even a teenage vampire love story fan.
but i can't put it down.

trying to channel the same 夢中 intensity into studying.
i've tested myself on 1431 words.
and only 1092 more to go.
i think getting that number down to 800 is more than lofty.
so here goes.