double trouble

it's been longer than i would like since i've last posted. despite finding myself in front of my computer more than i'm even willing to admit, somehow that time just never materializes into a post.

let's start with the weekend. this weekend was absolute rollercoaster.

friday i went to Style's for "cheap wine night." it was supposed to be a similar evening to the night we had after thanksgiving dinner, when we all crashed at Bee's. so Bee was supposed to come, but he realized he had already promised he'd meet an old friend that night and said he might come later.

Style made sheperd's pie, which was delicious, and we finished off 2 bottles of cheap wine. i was definitely drunk and blabbed all my boy troubles, if you can call them that, to him in a drunken haze. i didn't want to spend the night, so i made my way out in plenty of time to catch a train home. i was way drunker than i thought. one stop before my stop, i knew i wasn't going to make it. i got off and went looking for a restroom. i finally went and asked the station attendant. sadly, i didn't make it in time. i'll leave the details at that.

eventually i got home and miraculously made it to bed with the door locked and in my pajamas. i did sleep with my contacts in and had one of those "i can see! ...oh, wait. shoot!" moments in the morning when i woke up but otherwise, i was lucky to only end up with a hangover.

saturday i got a text from Oto. basically he said that he couldn't go out on sunday (the "date" we made 4 weeks ago was finally here) because he still isn't over his girlfriend. i couldn't believe it. i had been looking forward to it for 4 weeks. and now?! i called Chelsea. i cried. i drafted a reply.

"Oto, it's okay. it's okay if you're not over her. it's okay if you can't "be with" another girl. i can handle it if you just tell me what's up. of course, i was looking forward to tomorrow but that's just because i thought it'd be fun if we went together. for now, that's it. i mean, i think you're a great guy and want to be friends. i'm not expecting anything other than that. that being said, you still can't go? if you can't, of course i'll be a little sad, but i can understand."

i called Chelsea. i sent the text. i waited. and waited. and then i had to leave.

saturday night was the middle school end of the year party. it was at a restaurant near my house so i rode my bike. i didn't put one and one together to realize it was a blowfish restaurant! i ate a lot of blowfish. whoa. crazy. some of it was good, some of it was not so good, and some of it, i just couldn't even bring myself to try. eating a plate full of blowfish sashimi was pushing my "challenge" courage as it was. half way through the night, i started to feel sick, so i stopped drinking any alcohol, switched to apple juice, and stuck to the vegetables that came with the blowfish.

the second party was low key and i was feeling down. Oto still hadn't replied and i wasn't in the happy drunken state that everyone else seemed to be in. i just wanted to go home and curl up in bed. i mentioned to Cheer that i had to talk to her about something that came up regarding my date with Oto, so in the end, she came over.

she lives nearby too and had ridden her bike, so we rode our bikes home and i gushed the whole story. in the end, i texted him and asked if he'd seen my text and what he was thinking, and that i was waiting for a reply. i went to bed feeling uneasy and disappointed.

i woke at 7:30am and saw that i had a text from Oto at 7am. "aw thanks jo. then, shall we get dinner? meet at 4, right? i'll try not to be late. sorry i took so long to get back to you. i fell asleep yesterday at 4."

relieved, i went back to bed. when Cheer and i finally got up at 10:45, i properly replied to Oto. i was excited again, but slightly miffed by what was going on with him. i don't want to have to play these games; the waiting and the guessing thing is just not my style. but for the time being, we were going on a date. and i was smiling like a giddy little kid.